her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
