That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
