Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
