I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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