it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
