She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
