i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
