Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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