brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
