I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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