We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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