Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
