One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
