I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
