i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
True college students do jello shots in the library
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
