would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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