I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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