No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
ttyl tear gas
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
