Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This girl is more easily done than said...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
