I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
