ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
