So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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