my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
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