strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
