she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
