I'm going to jail i love you
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
