You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
