check it out our google latitudes are spooning
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
