the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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