Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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