I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
