you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Randomize
