I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
