Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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