Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
God, I missed his penis.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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