Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
