vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
