You made me cry and you don't even care
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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