It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
