Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
