By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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