I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
