Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
