I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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