I think I died a long time ago.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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