As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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