I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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