What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Sorry my hands just texted you
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
