Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
