I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
